Oh Miss Manners, Wherefore Art Thou?

Whatever happened to manners? Was there a cataclysmic event that erased the lessons learned from our mothers and kindergarten teachers? Maybe we just all need a bit of a refresher course? Here is a by-no-means-complete list of 10 basic manners that can be found on any grade school wall:

1. Don't interrupt. I'm speaking therefore you're not. When I'm done speaking you may be able to do so. (Once you've mastered that task, try listening to what I'm saying while I'm speaking instead of building the response to what you could not have possibly just absorbed in any way shape or form because you were too busy formulating said response.) When I say something that fires you up, if the situation allows, please take your time while explaining to me why you disagree. (Please refer to #10 for more explanation.) If the venue is not one where you are able to air your differences, keep your mouth shut.
   
2. Don't call names. Does this require an explanation? *sigh* Why should you not call names? Because it's not nice and could hurt someone's feelings.
   
3. Always greet people properly. Handshake, eye contact, clear speech. Simple enough even for those of us that are socially inept.
   
4. Say "Please" and "Thank you". If someone gives you something, "Thank you". If you want something, "Please". Let's go a step further: Would you say it in front of your mother? If not, go ahead and substitute: fiddlesticks, heck, gosh, dang...you're catching my drift right?
   
5. Clean up after yourself. Case in point: Clean up your water mess all over the bathroom sink so that I don't leave the restroom looking like I should be investing in some Depends.
   
6. Maintain good sportsmanship. Line judges, referees, officials of all sorts are just doing their job to the best of their abilities. It doesn't matter if you are playing in an Open or pretending you are 20 years younger than you really are in your rec league softball games...you play the game. You shake the hands of the opponents after the game. You refrain from yelling at the officials. You refrain from throwing punches at the opposition.
   
7. Take compliments courteously. A thank you will suffice. Avoid protests it only makes you seem disingenuous.
   
8. Entering/exiting manners. Hold the door open for someone entering behind you. Let those people exiting an elevator off first. When you're driving in the car, and people are trying to cross the street/parking lot/wherever...let them go first, especially if the weather is bad.
   
9. Perform proper table manners. Elbows off the table - I still wait for a backhand to knock my elbows off the table 30 years after the first time it happened. I don't know why this is a rule, it just is...so comply. Chew with your mouth shut, don't slurp, don't reach, don't shovel.
   
10. Last but not least: respect differences. Why is this one so difficult? It is the absence of this fundamental manner that leads to many of the lapses in the rest. Just because you disagree with me does not make you right or me wrong. Deal with it.
    

I have had (and continue to have) my fair share of moments defiling this list and I won't go into details (in this post anyway). These are pretty standard rules of etiquette - even my dogs were supposed to learn some of them. Maisie has become very adept at her greeting and entering/exiting manners. Paulie has excellent table manners. Even Indy is more than willing to accept any praise lavished upon him.

In the eternal words of Miss Manners herself: "...if you behave in a way that offends the people you're trying to deal with, they will stop dealing with you...."