If I Throw Out Large Technical Words, Maybe She'll Hang Up The Phone

I think I have a pretty high degree of common sense. Couple that with my 8 years of college (no, I'm not a doctor) I think that I am equipped to learn faster and see patterns quicker than the majority of the population. The upside: I can pick up a skill with relatively little effort. Except swimming and since I'm in a land-locked state and very rarely find myself in a scene from Open Water, I'm not going to worry too much about that.

I find that this trait many times leads me to impatience and a short fuse with people who don't necessarily have the cognitive skills that 457,000 hours in a classroom has afforded me. Having to nearly bite my tongue off most days, I try to count to ten when I feel my fuse start to go. And to make sure that I am fully aware of this flaw, the technical customer service gods conspired against me today.

There are few things that can irritate the bejeezus out of an IT manager: large scale service outages that you have no hope or possibility of ever controlling (service level agreements? What's that?) and dealing with other nerds on the phone for long periods of time. Today I was lucky enough to experience both at the same time.

Oh, you say that my hosted server that serves up a software portal to 350 people "locked up" in the middle of a script and therefore never fully booted up? Tell me again what multi-threaded means?

One, two, three...

Oh, now I get it, this hardware lock up happened three days ago and you thought you'd just wait around to see if it ever came back up? Riiiiight.

...four, five, six...

So how's about this, Douche-Canoe, how about you replace the hardware right this instant because I'm out of patience seeing as I've been on the phone with various versions of you for the past 6 1/2 hours?

'KThanksBye.